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Robert brashear, a New York City pastor, rubs his fingers against the 117-year-old walls of his church, and a shower of red dust sprinkles the sidewalk. Above him, scaffolding protects pedestrians from falling 20-pound chunks of sandstone.

Inside, water stains line the walls and cracks trace the barrel-vaulted ceiling of Brashear’s West-Park Presbyterian Church on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. Brashear estimates that repairs would cost at least $10 million.

There are, he says with a sigh, “no resources to cover that kind of expense” in a 100-member church. But like so many other urban pastors, Brashear has seen his financial salvation–and it’s coming out of thin air.

The open space–or air rights–above Brashear’s church will soon be sold for about $15 million to a developer. who will erect a 21-story condominium complex that cantilevers over the back of the church. The new building will include church meeting rooms, 40 low-income housing units and 40 market-rate condos. Once repairs are paid for, Brashear hopes to invest the remaining funds.

From New York to Seattle, downtown congregations are striking deals with developers–deals worth tens of millions of dollars. Those willing to sell are often mainline Protestant congregations saddled with aging buildings, growing deficits and shrinking memberships.

While a red-hot real-estate market has cooled considerably in recent months, industry veterans say the church trend remains strong, especially in revitalized cities where the supply of condominiums and office space has not caught up with demand.

In many large cities, air rights can be bought and sold. A church that doesn’t reach the maximum height allowed by zoning laws can sell the unused space above its roof to a developer, who can transfer that space to an adjacent building. Such churches can make millions off a “vertical asset” that would otherwise go unused.

The result is unexpected “manna from heaven” for some churches, said M. Myers Mermel, a real estate broker and member of Christ Church United Methodist in New York, which negotiated a $30 million air rights deal in November.

While proceeds have replenished bank accounts, expanded social outreach and breathed new life into aging sacred space, the high-stakes transactions can be risky for clergy and congregations unprepared for the cutthroat world of real-estate development.

In places like New York, Chicago and Washington, where the only place to go is up, low-rise churches are attractive targets. Increasingly, developers are willing to pay top dollar not just for land, but also for the air above a church’s roof.

“The cities with the hottest real-estate markets and [sale of air rights] will be the places where the phenomenon sticks out the most,” said Richard Peiser, professor of real-estate development at Harvard’s Graduate School of Design.

Consider a few examples of churches striking real-estate gold:

* In Chicago, a 60-story condo tower will rise above St. James Episcopal Cathedral in the heart of the city’s Magnificent Mile area. St. James will sign a 120-year lease on its land in a deal worth at least $10 million. Fourth Presbyterian Church in Chicago has explored a similar venture, though approval by the city is uncertain. “In an urban area, air rights are just as much an asset as a piece of property,” said John M. Buchanan, pastor of the 5,400-member Fourth Presbyterian and editor-publisher of the Christian Century.

* In the shadow of New York’s Empire State Building, the quaint Episcopal Church of the Transfiguration razed its parish house and sold its air rights for a 55-story luxury condo building that will net about $7 million for the congregation. Uptown, the Episcopal Cathedral of St. John the Divine is planning two education and residential projects that the New York Times estimated will generate at least $40 million over the next 20 years.

* In Seattle, the terra-cotta domed roof of First United Methodist Church will soon make way for a highrise office tower. Church officials say they can’t maintain the 1910 building and would prefer to spend money on outreach to the homeless. The Seattle Times estimated the deal is worth about $30 million.

* In Washington, the city’s insatiable housing market prompted St. Luke’s United Methodist Church to sell part of its land to a developer who built condos that sell for up to $2 million each. The church made about $6 million on the deal, said pastor David Myers; it now plans to fund a homeless shelter and feeding program. Without the infusion of cash, Myers said, his small congregation probably would have closed its doors.

Traces of the trend can be found in smaller cities as well. In Sarasota, Florida, First United Methodist Church was offered $17 million for its downtown property that abuts a new residential/retail complex. The church, however, turned down the deal after “sentimentality ruled the day,” said copastor Art McClellan.

A partnership between the Canyon-Johnson Urban Funds and The Dermot Company has purchased the Williamsburg Savings Bank Building and plans to renovate and convert the landmark 35-story tower into condominiums and ground-floor retail space.

The project, called One Hanson Place, will continue the ongoing revitalization of Downtown Brooklyn into a 24-hour urban community.

Purchased from HSBC, Brooklyn’s tallest building has been a feature of the borough’s skyline and the Fort Greene neighborhood since 1927.

It is adjacent to Atlantic Terminal, New York City’s third-largest mass transportation hub, and near such amenities as MetroTech Center, the Brooklyn Museum of Art, the Brooklyn Academy of Music and the proposed arena for the NBA’s New Jersey Nets.

A copper dome and one of the world’s largest four-sided clock towers adorn the historical landmark building, which offers unobstructed views of Manhattan and all of Brooklyn.

One Hanson Place is the first investment for Canyon-Johnson Urban Fund II, a $600 million closed-end real estate fund managed by a partnership between Canyon Capital Realty Advisors LLC and Earvin “Magic” Johnson’s Johnson Development Corporation, both based in the Los Angeles area. One Hanson Place is Canyon-Johnson’s second Brooklyn project; CJUF I is an investor in Park Place, a mixed-use development of condos, retail and parking currently under construction in the borough’s Park Slope neighborhood.

“We couldn’t have found a better project or partner to launch Canyon-Johnson’s second urban fund,” said CJUF Managing Partner Bobby Turner.

“One Hanson Place will help meet the tremendous demand for market-rate housing and community-serving retail while maintaining the historical integrity of this celebrated landmark building. Moreover, Dermot’s extensive track record and commitment to urban development will ensure the success of this great project.”

Earvin “Magic” Johnson added, “We are believers in Brooklyn as a place that is economically growing, healthy, entertaining and the place to be. By bringing high-quality residential and retail components together, One Hanson will bring about even further revitalization to the already vibrant Brooklyn community.”

Canyon-Johnson’s partner, The Dermot Company, has developed more than 4,000 multi-family units over the past 13 years.

“One Hanson is a prime example of the type of urban infill development that The Dermot Company is trying to promote,” said William Dickey, President of Dermot.

“We are proud to unite with the Canyon-Johnson Urban Fund in this exciting venture, and we are excited to find a capital partner that shares our vision and commitment: that our project can contribute greatly to the neighborhood growth and business development in downtown Brooklyn. The people and process at Canyon truly define a value added partnership.”

The New York City Employee Retirement Funds are among the investors in Canyon-Johnson Urban Fund II and, thus, One Hanson Place. New York City Comptroller William C. Thompson, Jr. said, “One Hanson epitomizes the double-bottom-line agenda we have set forth for the City’s retirement funds: to do good for the people of New York and to do well financially for the City’s pension plans.”"

Financing for the project was provided by Citibank’s Community Development Group. “We are pleased to be both an equity investor in Canyon-Johnson Urban Funds and the construction lender for One Hanson Place. Dermot Company and Canyon-Johnson are terrific partners with strong track records of successful large-scale urban developments,” said Andrew Ditton, Director of Citibank Community Development.

The architect for the renovation is H. Thomas O’Hara, a New York-based firm specializing in high-rise residential/mixed-use buildings and conversions of existing buildings. Kajima Construction Services Inc., the fourth largest contractor in the world, is managing preconstruction work.

Parsons Brinckerhoff has been named program manager for the development of Port Gardner Wharf, a residential, office and retail complex being built on 65 waterfront acres in Everett, Wash.

Port Gardner Wharf is a public-private venture of the Maritime Trust Co. and the Port of Everett. The project’s buildable area will range from 1.2 to 1.6 million s/f. The first phase of development will entail approximately 200 condominiums, town homes and retail spaces. Subsequent phases call for 660 high-end residential units, retail and professional office space, an inn, restaurant, and marina sales and service facilities.

Under a separate project, the Port of Everett is building a 234-slip marina on the north side of the site. The marina will be completed in 2006, preceding the completion of the first phase of Port Gardner Wharf, currently scheduled for completion in mid-2007. The entire development is expected to be completed between 2012 and 2015.

As program manager, PB will administer the overall project and manage the project team, including the design consultants and construction contractors.

Founded in 1885, Parsons Brinckerhoff provides program management, planning, engineering, and construction management services for transportation, power, buildings, and environmental projects. PB employs 9,000 professionals and support staff in more than 150 offices worldwide.

With the interest rates at a 40-year low, some businesses are starting to consider buying their offices instead of leasing them.

According to several brokers, commercial condominiums are gaining in popularity and new developments are popping up in trendy neighborhoods around the city.

According to Roxanne Betesh, a broker with Sinvin Realty whose company has closed at least five condominium sales since the beginning of the year, small and medium-sized firms feel that property purchases are a good investment.

“These companies are taking advantage of the fact that interest rates are very low–they are securing money, they see it as something much more [productive] for their company,” Betesh said. “There is, I think, a very strong market of people who want to buy their own space. A lot of people in the residential market are buying for investment, and a lot of people in business are doing it.”

“When a company has reached a size where they are comfortable with their business model and they don’t plan on moving, ownership becomes preferable to leasing,” said Jonata Dayan, of Winoker Realty.

Dayan, who has closed several condominium sales in the past few months, including a 33,000 s/f transaction at 12 W. 32nd St. and a 46,000 s/f one at 146 W. 29th St., thinks the wild fluctuations in the commercial rental market may be responsible for the condominiums’ increasing popularity.

“It’s hard to say why something happens, but it probably has to do with just the fluctuations of rents being so radical,” she said. “Right now, rents are low, but they are starting to climb again. In the last couple of years, the space that was $40 per s/f went to $20 per s/f and is now $30 per s/f. So, I think it’s just the insecurity of their position in the building–is the building going to be sold, are the rents going up? [With a condominium], they know what they’ve gotten themselves into, this is their place for the foreseeable amount of time.”

To deal with increased demand, Winoker Realty has opened up a new commercial co-op and condo division, of which Dayan is in charge. The firm says that, in the past two years, demand for commercial office space purchases increased by 30%.

Not everyone, however, thinks that buying coops and condominiums is such a hot trend. James De Luca, senior director with Cushman & Wakefield, handles condominium sales from time to time, but he says he hasn’t noticed an upsurge in the recent past.

“Most of the time, the entities that find it very attractive to purchase commercial condos are nonprofit groups,” he explained. “This way, they become tax-exempt and that’s a real benefit for them because they are saving more than $8 per s/f per year. There are several commercial condominium buildings [in the city] like 633 Third Ave. and 3 Dag Hammarskjold Plaza.”

But private entities that might have any plans for expansion tend to shy away from commercial purchases because they are too permanent.

“You are locking a company in; it doesn’t give it the flexibility to grow or expand or contract,” De Luca said. “Companies feel grid-locked into their space, so I don’t see a big trend of corporate America buying commercial office space.”

Other problems De Luca notes are a lack of funds to buy a co-op or a condominium and the limited supply of properties for sale in New York.

“There are very few buildings in the city that are commercial condos. I just sold a building on 59th Street and a lot of non-profit companies looked at it, but none of them would step up to the plate,” he said. “They couldn’t raise the money to purchase.”

According to Dayan, commercial co-operatives might be a little more affordable because their closing costs are lower, but tenants are more wary because they tend to associate them with a common problem of residential co-ops–impossible boards.

“A lot of people have had previous ownership experience with residential property and feel more comfortable with a commercial condominium. It’s easier to re-sell, ” she explained. “But after looking around, they’ll find that commercial co-ops are less restrictive than residential. Most of the time, what they are looking for is finances and a legal use. The boards are not as quirky as in residential co-ops. And commercial co-ops are normally one tenant per floor, so you are dealing with 12 owners as opposed to 120 owners.”

Still, if commercial condominium developments are hard to rind in Manhattan, commercial co-ops are almost impossible to come by.

“I don’t know one commercial co-op in New York, except for the Time Warner Center at Columbus Circle, which is a very unique property,” said De Luca.

National Cooperative Bank (NCB), the nation’s leading provider of financing to housing cooperatives and condominiums, originated through its subsidiary, NCB, FSB, $62.0 million in financing during April for 21 New York area properties.

The financings included $44.2 million in first mortgages, plus $17.8 million in second mortgages and lines of credit. Edward Howe III, Managing Director of the NCB New York office, made the announcement.

“Financing activity through April continued to demonstrate that cooperative and condominium boards are pursuing needed financing by taking advantage of their increasing property values in a low-interest rate lending environment,” commented Mr. Howe.

“This trend is evidenced by the steady rise in NCB’s total monthly financing while the number of borrowers has remained fairly constant.”

In April, three additional condominiums took advantage of the Amendment to the New York Condominium Act, allowing condominium associations to finance capital improvement projects and repairs.

NCB Senior Vice President Sheldon Gartenstein originated a $3.l million first mortgage and a $1.0 million line of credit for an 88-unit condominium located at 233 East 70th St. in Manhattan; a $2.2 million first mortgage and a $1.0 line of credit for a 111-unit condominium located at 319 East 50th St. in Manhattan; and a $2.5 million line of credit for a 50unit condominium located at 260 West Broadway in Manhattan.

Mr. Gartenstein also originated over $47 million in co-op loans during April including the Bank’s largest loan of the month, an $11.0 million first mortgage and a $3.0 million line of credit for a 275-unit co-op located at 10 West 66th St. in Manhattan.

NCB Senior Vice President Mindy Goldstein originated nearly $3 million for area cooperatives including a $900,000 first mortgage for a 16-unit co-op located at 2 Jane Street in Manhattan; an $800,000 first mortgage and a $250,000 line of credit for a 40-unit co-op located at 166 West 76th St. in Manhattan; a $550,000 line of credit for a 21-unit co-op located at 310 Windsor Place in Brooklyn; and a $230,000 first mortgage for a 10-unit co-op located at 102 Bedford St. in Manhattan.

Mr. Howe arranged more than $12 million in loans for area cooperatives including a $4.5 million first mortgage and a $2.0 million line of credit for a 106-unit co-op located at 65 Central Park West in Manhattan; a $4.0 million first mortgage and a $500,000 line of credit for the Gateway, a 104-unit co-op located at 60 Gateway Road in Yonkers a $2.8 million first mortgage and a $500,000 line of credit for the Breukelen, a 127-unit co-op located at 57 Montague St. in Brooklyn.

SAN FRANCISCO (NYT) — Slow typists of the world may find relief in a new Internet dictation service that promises to turn spoken words into a polished document in about an hour, 24 hours a day. Users of the service first call the company, iDictate.com, at (877) DICTATE or (800) 342-8283 and speak their message. The service, based in San Francisco, records your voice, turns it into an audio computer file and sends the file over the Internet to one of hundreds of typists based around the world, as far away as India. Once the message is transcribed, the company checks for errors and returns it to the caller via e-mail.

The service is available only in English, but the company’s founder, Lee Dorfman, said that other languages were on the way. Callers can also fax a handwritten note for typing and can have the company send a message. First-time users can try the service free for up to 100 words. After that, the service charges one cent per word, or about $3 to $4 per page of double-spaced text.

Playing with radio waves

LOS ANGELES (NYT) — At first glance, the $40 Airplay video game controller looks much like any one of many handheld game devices. But a closer look reveals a significant advance: hey, no wires. Made by Eleven Engineering, based in Canada, Airplay uses radio waves, which are more reliable than the infrared signals used by television remote controllers.

This year, the company hopes to ride an expected tidal wave of console-product sales with the introduction in October of Sony’s much- anticipated PlayStation 2 in North America. Sony is preparing to ship 2 million PlayStation 2 consoles to North America this year. John Sobota, the chief executive of Eleven Engineering, said his company’s controller, which has the familiar configuration of control keys, d- pad and thumb-controlled joysticks, is fully compatible with the new PlayStation.

The device has a range of up to 25 feet, and in a demonstration this month at the Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles its game could not be interrupted by objects or people moving between it and the game console. “Console gaming has evolved well beyond conventional controllers,” Sobota said in a company statement.

Asparagus sprouts

HADLEY, Mass. (AP) — Hadley asparagus is once again attracting a gourmet market, nearly a century after it first graced the finest tables in New York and Newport, R.I., society. Its return comes decades after the so-called “Hadley grass” was wiped out by a fungus in the 1970s. But despite the revival, out-of-town asparagus aficionados still have to scramble to get any of the prized crop. The demand is so great that most of the asparagus grown in the Connecticut River Valley is snapped up by local buyers before it reaches the wholesale market.

Its taste has people willing to pay more than $40 a crate wholesale, about 25 percent above prices at New Jersey markets. Retail prices start at $2.50 to $3 a bunch and climb.

What if Arnie were young now?

SAN ANTONIO (NYT) — Decades before a Tiger ruled the PGA Tour, a lion named Arnold was the king of golf. Imagine the possibilities if Arnold Palmer were in his prime now. What could a man with Palmer’s All-American looks, charisma and professionalism earn in today’s market where athletes pitch everything from mutual funds to Micatin? “He would have won enough to buy the PGA Tour just on his attitude alone,” said Buddy Cook, Southwestern Bell Dominion tournament director. “He and Tiger Woods are similar in their drive to excel. That’s what makes them both successful.”

If Woods is any indication, Palmer could earn twice as much as he does now as golf’s elder statesman. Woods earned $47 million last year while winning eight events and pitching products such as Nike and American Express. Palmer, 70, has not won a tournament since 1988 but he still earned $19 million last year mainly through his golf- related businesses and from pitching products such as Cooper Tire and Pennzoil.

“Arnie, if he was in his prime (today), would probably be one of the highest-paid (athletes),” said Jim Reese, a sports administration and facilities management assistant professor at Ohio University. “He is definitely going after a different target market, but he is still very marketable.”

Endorsements are just a portion of the money Palmer could have earned. Woods has accumulated $13.9 million while winning 18 events since joining the PGA Tour in July 1996. In comparison, Palmer won 60 titles and yet his total earnings on the PGA Tour amount to $1.8 million for a career that spans more than 30 years.

Just under $2 million? Woods surpassed that in his first five PGA Tour events this year.

When questioned about the possibilities, Palmer offered a warm, friendly smile that has become as familiar as his unfinished swing. “I couldn’t say I wouldn’t think about that,” Palmer said. “It’s hard to think about what might have been. If I had to do it all over again, I would accept it if it turned out the same way.”

It’s that time of year again - when you can’t pick up a newspaper without seeing pictures of celebrities lying on the beach in dubious two- pieces or negotiating Heathrow in sunglasses the size of plates.

Whether they head for sandy beaches on some exotic shore, or purple gorse in the Lake District; take the wife, the ex-wife and all the kids, or go it alone on a retreat - how the famous relax reveals more about their personalities than how they behave at the Oscars ever could. And of course, where they go this year, the rest of us will surely follow next (assuming we can afford it, that is).

This year, St Tropez is riding high on the back of the vogue for Eighties trash. Anyone with anything to sell will be on the streets of this port town. Recent sightings in the glittering playground include Lady Victoria Hervey (who recently opened a smart clothes and jewellery boutique, Akademi, in London’s Belgravia), Bono (who is campaigning to “drop the debt” of the Third World) and Bernard Arnault, head of the LVMH fashion empire, who is rumoured to be sniffing out another fashion take-over.

St Tropez is the kind of place where EC trash can flaunt their labels while feeling smugly ironic. “A lot of celebrities go to St Tropez to make sure they’re seen in the right nightclub,” says Sarah Miller, editor of Conde Nast Traveller. “But they don’t stay in the town itself for long.” Indeed, they’re more likely to move on to a villa in the Cote d’Argent on the Atlantic coast , returning to St Tropez at the weekend.

Celeb holidays aren’t all about glamour, though. This year, design duo Antoni & Alison headed for a remote part of Scotland. “We stayed in a mill on the Mull of Kintyre,” says Antoni. “We had no telephone and only had electricity occasionally. A friend came with us and the three of us were in this huge, scary, remote old mill with a big cellar. At night, it was pitch black outside. It was like Scooby Doo.” Creepy it may have been, but they got loads of useful influences for their quirky fashion label. “We came home with bags of souvenirs, like gift shop tea-towels and jars of honey with weird packaging.”

Some say that Scotland is as fashionable as Ireland was five years ago, and Ullapool, in the Highlands, is the current favourite. The owners of Scottish historic castles, lodges and five-star hotels have caught on to this trend and formed a group called Connoisseurs Scotland, pushing holidays to the ultra-ABC1s. And then there’s the celeb appeal of Turnberry Hotel in Ayrshire, a five-star hotel with two golf courses that rival anything the US has to offer, as well as a state-of-the-art spa. Catherine Zeta Jones, Michael Douglas, Sean Connery and Celine Dion have all signed in.

Further afield, Kate Moss will be globe-trotting to Brazil later this year, along with Matthew Williamson, the designer, fashion guru Isabella Blow, and too-hot-to-touch fashion photographer Mario Testino. Not surprising really: it is now more hip than the Queen Mother’s pelvis. Sao Paulo, the economic hub of Brazil, is said to rival Paris and Milan as the new “fashion capital”, and has a New York edge with the best clubbing scene on the continent. “South America is very fashionable now because countries like Peru and Brazil are a lot more politically stable,” says Sarah Miller.

But other jet-setters prefer a more spiritual form of exertion. For example, designer Emma Bernhardt, supermodel Normandie Keith and Baroness Smith of Gilmorehill - widow of the late John Smith - are all joining guru-of- the-moment Dr Mosaraf Ali on a Himalayan trek. His Integrated Medical Centre in London’s New Cavendish Street practises Ayurveda, an ancient Indian medicine, on stressed-out celebs such as Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.

If you fancy a bit of five-star celeb-like luxury, then look no further than travel agencies like Western & Oriental and Abercrombie & Kent. Both deal in top-of-the-range holidays in India and the Caribbean. Rosewood Hotels & Resorts, meanwhile, provides luxury accommodation around the world - including “hot” destinations such as the Middle East, Panama, Indonesia and Mauritius - that make The Ritz look like a youth hostel.

It was only a matter of time before A-list travel hit the internet, and so Bruce Palling, ex-travel editor of Tatler and former managing director of Western & Oriental, has set up GrandTrunk.com, a website travel agency designed with the rich and famous in mind. It is due to launch in September and promises to offer some of the most exclusive luxury accommodation in the world. “GrandTrunk.com is targeting the equivalent of the platinum credit card,” explains Palling. “We’re targeting only 250 people in the world and will only carry 70 hotels to start with. These are the ultimate exclusive holidays.”

Some places will remain classic holiday spots. Mauritius is hauling in more celebrities than ever, mainly because of all the new hotels on the island. Sharon Stone and Geri Halliwell have both checked in to the recently refurbished Le Saint Geran hotel, while the Palmer-Tomkinson sisters, Tara and Santa, took a holiday there earlier this year.

Q. I have just booked a two-week holiday to Penang with my wife and two sons aged 12 and 14. We’ve never travelled outside Europe before and are keen to get the most out of the trip. We don’t just want a tropical beach holiday - we want to get a grasp on the history and culture of the island if possible. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Robin Bennett, York

A.You’ll find plenty to keep you occupied in Penang. Until the arrival of the British with The East India Company in 1771 the island was no more than a series of fishing villages ruled by the Sultan of Kedah. The Brits rather pompously renamed it Prince of Wales Island. Although it was always known as Pulau Pinang (meaning “Betel Nut Island”), the name did not officially change back until Malaysian Independence in 1959.

Today the capital, Georgetown (named after George III), is a bustling, multicultural centre that’s a paradox of past colonialism and the present fervour for economic development. The British have very much left their architectural footprint here. The dishevelled Fort Cornwallis in the northeast is a reminder of colonial struggles.

The greatest monument to colonial days must be the Eastern & Oriental Hotel (00 60 4 222 2000; www.e-o-hotel.com), which recently reopened after renovation. This was a retreat of tiffin and G&Ts, where the likes of Somerset Maugham escaped the tropical sun, and your sons will probably enjoy afternoon tea in the Conservatory.

However, it is the myriad of cultures which coexist that makes Georgetown enchanting among the apparent chaos of tooting horns. Chinatown is full of beautifully crumbling Chinese shophouses. The Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion, on Lebuh Leith, has been refurbished to a striking example of 19th-century Chinese architecture. The exterior walls are painted a vivid blue, and the inside is like an Orientalist’s dream dollhouse - or a film set, which it is frequently used for.

Penang is celebrated for its food, and the boys are bound to appreciate the open-air food stalls at Gurney Drive. An unusual cuisine you may all enjoy is called Nonya - once the term for a Chinese woman who dressed like a Malayan, yet retained her own customs. Today Nonya is used to describe the fusion of the two cultures, and encompasses everything from clothes and cuisine to art and architecture.

As elsewhere in South-east Asia, shopping is an important element of any holiday. For antiques head to Jalan Penang. The newly renovated Garage, across the road from the Eastern & Oriental Hotel, is an air-conditioned craft centre. If its electronics and gadgets you’re after, the KOMTAR Tower, a modern shopping centre, dominating Georgetown is the place - though don’t expect prices as keen as those in Singapore or Hong Kong.

To escape the heat of town, and to have a fun afternoon out, it is worth taking a trip up Penang Hill on the funicular railway. Not only is it much cooler at the top but it also gives a panoramic view of the island and across to Butterworth on the mainland. On the way down you can walk through the Botanical Gardens and maybe join in a free tai chi lesson.

Penang is also packed with temples of every kind. If you feel like getting out and about, the best way to see them - and explore more of the island - is to hire a car. Wat Chayamangkalaram is a Thai temple on Lorong Burma. A couple of fierce and garish demon statues guard the 33-metre reclining Buddha that lies inside. The interior houses the ashes of many ancestors - plus a selection of automated fortune telling machines. If you carry on west you will come to the Hindu Temple of Nattukkottai Chettiar where the annual Thaipusam festival takes place. Take the road south on this clockwise route from Georgetown and towards Gertak Sanggul to the Snake Temple, where reptiles have been seeking refuge for over 100 years. A detour east will take you to Batu Maung a little-known site that has a 33-inch footprint in rock said to be made by the monkey god Hanuman as he stepped across the ocean.

To continue in a clockwise direction, backtrack to Bayan Lepas and take the road to Teluk Bahang and the Titi Kerawang Waterfall, which is really more of a trickle; the Butterfly Farm however is well worth a visit. A huge netted area containing a steamy landscaped garden, once inside it takes a while to focus on the psychedelic butterflies surrounding you.

Another tip, although you don’t say where you are staying, on the road from the big beach resorts of Batu Ferringhi around the hills to Georgetown, you will pass a small cove called Moonlight Bay. This is one of the best places to swim on the island.

Q.We’re planning a trip to Australia next Easter. Because we don’t want to impinge on the schooling of our twin daughters (Beth and Susie, aged 8), we’re not going to stop over on the way to Sydney and back. But which of the possible transit airports is going to be best to stretch our legs at the refuelling stop?

Alison Rodgers, by e-mail

A.You’re timing your trip well - fares to Australia are at their lowest between April and June, and Easter in Sydney can be beautiful - warm but autumnal, with fewer tourists than usual. Expect to pay as little as pounds 500 per adult and pounds 375 for each of the girls. The cheapest fares are likely to be on Malaysia Airlines via Kuala Lumpur. This smart new airport isn’t the most fascinating in Asia, but it’s well organised and has a few diversions, such as an internet area.

I’m up-country in what used to be called Ceylon, standing on a tea- garden hill in Nuwara Eliya, listening to pukka chat from elderly British, Home Counties tourists. Colonial embellishments surround them: mock-Tudor buildings, square green lawns. It’s the British standardisation of paradise, with Wimpey-like bungalow homes wrapped with corrugated iron like armour against the elements, standing frigidly in an irrepressible tropical landscape. It’s the last thing I want to see in Sri Lanka.

If I sound severe, it’s because I’m supposed to be in Serendip, the name given to this island when the ancient Greeks discovered her. It means, literally, “beauty discovered by chance”. The tourist board, leaving nothing to chance, has got me here, keen to show off “little England” as well as (let me list them) the white beaches of the west coast and the urban nightlife in Colombo. Beauty should not be so prescriptive.

I’ll admit immediately: it is beautiful. Diversely lovely. Compared with the debris in neighbouring India, a nice nugget of tourist fodder. There is less dust, few holy cows and hardly any beggars. There is a 92 per cent literacy rate and no sprawling urbanisation. Volvos, Lancias and the occasional Porsche flash along the well-maintained roads, upon which the jungle seems ever encroaching.

I’ve seen the sheen on new Colombo and I quite understand why the Sri Lankans want it compared with shiny-dollared Singapore or Malaysia rather than Pakistan. I know the Germans, size 14 and upwards, have been soaking up the sun on Sri Lanka’s beaches for years. I know that it has every aesthetic and social right to claim to be the new Asian Majorca.

But. But this is a beautiful country whose own expectations seem to be stifling its spontaneous heart. Sri Lanka, you don’t need to try so hard.

Tellingly, there are few budget travellers or hippie trails. With true backpacker radar, word has spread that paradise has sold out and, anyway, budget accommodation is now hard to find. I don’t want to get so ethical about travel, but it’s a give-and-take world in developing tourism, and right now, I could do with a backpacker flirt in the jungle and a spliff to take the edge off. A local guide has already tried to stop me buying peanuts from a street vendor (”No, not like that, buy them wrapped like your Waitrose”) or photographing the sun-creased skins of tea-pickers (”No photo-stop, further down fresh young women”).

I flew 12 hours to get here with a head full of poetic, cinematic images. This is where David Lean filmed Bridge on the River Kwai. So, here’s the deal, Sri Lanka. Provoke my imagination; give me some drama and romance beyond the package, some beauty and madness inspired by tropical landscapes. Put some of the dirt back into paradise.

Let’s begin again, in the jungle. Sri Lanka’s great attraction is that it’s roughly the size of Ireland: a manageable morsel. Bored with temples? Head for a beach. Sick of spice gardens? Visit an elephant orphanage. I chose three destinations encompassing sex, religion and a combination of the two - a jungle Trinity.

I go north through the jungle to fifth-century Sigiriya, an ancient palace perched on a huge rock jutting out of the rainforest, built by a megalomaniacal king called Kassapa. It’s best known for its cave frescoes on a ledge 300ft up, the court harem wearing little more than enigmatic smiles, like Asian Mona Lisas. Discovered by the British in 1853, it is the backdrop for a brilliant photograph of the archaeological commissioner, H C P Bell, scaling the rock in 1853, suspended in a chair attached to a long rope and gazing at the frescoes. An academic in the face of porn.

The great rock arches above me. Weary package tourists tramp through on the approach to unending steps that will take them all the way to the citadel plateau or to the cave in the sky. I’m seeing it in the rain, a great warm sea of water running down the steps over my sandalled feet, the smell of wet jungle reminding me that whatever the weather, the frescoes have always been here, hidden or forgotten.

They look like Hindu goddesses, thick-hipped, with swollen breasts. They stand in couples, the courtesan and her maidservant, coloured orange with huge oval eyes, bedecked in frangipani, holding lotus blossom. One casually tweaks her nipple at me. I don’t translate well in my wet linen and clumping Birkenstocks, and on a ledge this high with a view dropping down into the jungle, I experience the best response Sri Lanka can evoke: disorientation.

So there was sex in paradise. And there were moonstones, too, uniquely Sri Lankan, to counteract the desires, a stone crescent moon chiselled with different animals to represent the Buddhist perils of birth, desire, age and death. The moonstones are everywhere in the 12th-century monastic ruins of Polonnaruwa, east of the orange maidens. They are rather like welcome doormats, hiding from you down jungle paths, until at the last moment you find yourself wiping your feet on them. At the Gal Vihara, three Buddhas transfix you. The most remarkable is a recumbent 50ft rock figure, flat out on the grass, head on a pillow, as if he has just lain down for a nap. He’s entering nirvana.

The Seychelles isn’t just for honeymooners. There’s plenty to do apart from lounging on some of the most gorgeous beaches in the world. In fact, I had to book a wake-up call at 7am each day to fit it all in. OK, I was on the islands for only five days, but had I been there for two weeks, I swear I’d have found more than enough to do.

So, where are we going first?

Well, I had hoped Mahe. But my flight was delayed so I had no time to explore the biggest and busiest of the islands. Instead, we’ll have to start our tour on Praslin, the second largest. This is where most tourists head for, and the majority won’t see much beyond their resort. Who can blame them? My hotel bordered one of the Seychelles’ most prized beaches, Anse Georgette, voted second best beach in the world. But I was determined to be different and went for a walk.

Wait. Only a fool would miss the Vallee de Mai. This prehistoric forest of palms lies at the heart of the island’s national park and dates from the time when the Seychelles, Africa, Madagascar and India were one land mass. Some of its plants are unique, such as the Coco de Mer.

The Coco de what?

The Coco de Mer: a huge nut resembling a woman’s pelvis and vagina. (The male tree, obligingly, grows a penis-shaped fruit.)

Behave yourself. Let’s get walking

Don’t get too excited. Even the walks are pretty chilled out here. The longest route round the Vallee de Mai takes only two hours and it’s pretty easy going, apart from a short climb to take in the wonderful views across the forest to the sea beyond.

I’m hot. Let’s get down to the sea

All right. No time to loiter; the next day I was up with the bulbul to catch a boat. First stop St Pierre, a cartoon desert island consisting of a bunch of rocks and a few palms, and a perfect location for snorkelling.

At last, you got in the water

Eventually. “Who takes size 38-40?” asked our captain, Robbie, a bag of flippers in his hand. The idea of jumping off a boat into unknown depths filled me with dread. I flip-flopped about until everyone had gone overboard. But Robbie had obviously come across cowards before. And so I got into the sea. I rolled on to my back and just stared at the clouds. It felt quite thrilling. I pushed all thoughts of sharks from my mind and returned to the boat for a mask. I had just enough time to swim to the rocks and to regret not having taken the plunge earlier.

Er, the beach?

Next stop, Curieuse. Once a leper colony, later a coconut plantation, the island is now uninhabited except for the wildlife rangers who care for animals and plants that live here. The rangers also have the job of taking hapless tourists around the island’s murky mangrove swamp.

After a quick march past pens of young tortoises, we were off into the bush for a gentle walk up a hill. Finally, we reached our destination, the old leper doctor’s house with its crude but ingenious interactive museum, and a barbecue lunch.

This isn’t the beach. This is another walk

Refreshed, we set off in the heat for the bird sanctuary island, Cousin, a home to more 250,000 seabirds. By the time we arrived we were seriously ready for a dip, but we had an hour of bird-spotting ahead of us.

And so to the beach?

Almost. But first a quick whirl around the neighbouring island of La Digue. The guide books will tell you there’s no motor transport. Of course, this isn’t true, but the roads are clear and bikes are cheap to hire.

La Digue is a favourite day trip for tourists who come in search of paradise as seen on the Bounty adverts. Instead, I cycled through shady groves to Grand Anse, a vast, stunning beach. But the rains came so I gave myself a break with a long lunch before returning to the beach.