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India is a land of fascinating natural and cultural contrasts, which are reflected in its galore of tourist attractions. Whatever may be your interest as a traveler, India, with its innumerable tourism facets, is surely not to disappoint you. Thus India tour can easily be sub-divided into several branches, such as religious tours to India, heritage tours to India, wildlife tours to India, beach tours to India, hill stations of India, etc.

Darjeeling in West Bengal , Mussoorie and Nainital in Uttaranchal, Ooty in Tamil Nadu, Munnar in Kerala, Shimla and Dalhouse in Himachal Pradesh, and Mahabaleshwar in Maharashtra, are only some of the hill stations of this country, where you can have some quiet moments with yourself and your loved ones amidst the hilly heights.

The serenity of the mountains in many of these hill stations are complemented by a number of surrounding tourist attractions, picturesque tea estates and the glamour of mall. Although many of them have become crowded over the decades, but still they hold their pristine charm, which can soothe the city-jaded nerves. Trekking through the hilly tracks can lead you to your own little discoveries…which can enliven your hilly sojourn.

At India you can not only enjoy the solitude of the hills, but also the colours of its valleys. Of course, Kashmir, with its fabled reputation, is the queen among the valleys. Shikara rides or rather cruises on the tranquil Dal and Nagin lakes of Srinagar, with the kaleidoscope of life and the snowcapped mountains gazing you by, can be a wonderful experience.

The verdant gardens of Srinagar can also give your Kashmir tours an added charm. Besides Srinagar, Gulmarg, Pahalgam and Sonmarg can present you with some breathtaking natural beauty in your tours to Kashmir. The Kulu and Manali valley in Himachal Pradesh, with their spellbounding scenery, temples, apple orchards and adventure tourism options can also be embedded into your memory. Whether you like nature, religion or adventure, Kullu Manali can give you the answer.

India has beaches and beaches…but you can’t see one and see them all, as most of them are with their distinct characteristics. Yes of course, the Puri beach in Orissa, the Kovalam and Varkala beach in Kerala, and the Goan beaches are must sees, but you shouldn’t miss out on the lesser-known but no less charming beach destinations like Ganapatipule in Maharashtra or Digha in West Bengal in your beach tours to India. And of course, the Chowpatty beach in Mumbai and the Marina Beach of Chennai must be included into your trips through the maddening, yet fascinating, metros of India.

The religious tours of India can make you travel through the length and breadth of the country. For the depth of religion is manifested in numerous temples, mosques and churches dotted from Kashmir to Kanyakumari. India has a number of religious destinations like Bodhgaya, Rajgir, Haridwar, Rishikesh, Varanasi, Tirupati, Puri, Ajmer, Rameshwaram, etc. where one can find ample opportunities to introspect and explore within yourself. Jagannath Temple in Puri and Venkateswara Temple in Tirupati are among the major temples of India. However, there are some temples like the Khajuraho temples, and the temples in the Konark Sun Temple complex, which no longer have any worship. But they attract hordes of tourists for their timelessly sensual sculptures, created in stone for the eternity to savour, and also for their annual dance festivals. They are more a part of the pluralistic heritage of India than its enriched religious fabric.

The heritage tours to India is not only limited to India’s mighty forts and palaces in Rajasthan, Gujarat, UP, Maharashtra and Delhi and other places, but is also manifested through its Ajanta and Ellora sculptures, Sanchi Stupas and Hampi ruins. They share the glory of India’s five millennia heritage with Qutab Minar, Red Fort, Jamma Masjid, Amer Fort, Fathepur Sikri, Victoria Memorial and Gateway of India…and of course the Taj Mahal, and many others.

The wildlife tours of India can be best explored in a jeep or on an elephant…and with a camera. Despite rapid industrialization and rampant poaching, India’s forest cover still maintains a rich diversity of flora and fauna, which one can enjoy in the country’s various wildlife parks and sanctuaries, situated across the length and breadth of the country. Corbett National Park, Kaziranga National Park, Ranthambore National Park, Periyar National Park, Kanha National Park and Sunderbans are some of the many wonderful wildlife tourist destinations of India, which an avid wildlife enthusiast can’t afford to miss.

Arizona is a state located in the southwestern part of the United States. It is also called the Grand Canyon State. Arizona is known for its breathtaking locations, abundant wildlife, golf courses, and health spas. Several luxury golf resorts attract thousands of golf enthusiasts around the year. Professionals and amateurs alike frequent these golf courses and enjoy the luxuries and amenities offered by the resort.

Top golf courses in Arizona include Gold Canyon Golf Resort, Meridian Condo Resorts, and the Camel Back Golf Resort. Many visitors choose accommodations in spacious casitas, small Spanish bungalows, which provide a host of modern amenities and services. These golf resorts may also include in-room or outdoor spas, fireplaces and private patios.

Dinosaur Mountain, which is considered the number one golf course in Arizona, offers golfers exciting and challenging golf experiences. These golf resorts also provide them with an opportunity to absorb the spectacular sight of the desert environment.

Many top golf resorts also arrange for golf tournaments for all their visitors. Many resorts also provide golfing tips and other essential details about this sport. There are golf resorts and lodging packages that offer the services of golf courses that are affordable. They also offer the facilities of lodging complexes, which are particularly designed for golfers. These packages offer real value for the money spent on them and make the holiday to Arizona an exciting trip. Many online sites provide details on the golf courses that are situated in Arizona.

Arizona vacation guides are available on the net. Besides listing the top golfing resorts, they also have good knowledge about Arizona landmarks, places, and parks. They provide important tourist information, with maps and images of Arizona. People can register for vacation planners. They help travelers to find desirable accommodation and save a substantial amount of money.

Are you a golf enthusiast who wants to try Arizona’s dazzling golf resorts? Or do you want to try some of Arizona golf resorts while on a vacation there with your family?

Whether you’re into golf or not, you can’t go wrong by choosing Arizona’s golf resorts. This state, which is best known for its desert landscapes, is home to many lovely golf resorts: Prescott and Flagstaff in North Phoenix; Tucson, Green Valley, and Turquoise Valley in the South. Aside from these, Arizona is also the home of many scenic, affordable, and intriguing golf resorts, including those in Chandler, Mesa, and Scottsdale.

If you’re into golf and want to try a swing or two in these Arizona golf resorts, you’ll be delighted with the varied courses being offered by different golf resorts. You will surely find the right level of difficulty and challenges proportionate to your skills. If you’re simply a vacationer, on the other hand, you’d love the intricate landscape and scenery at Arizona golf resorts. There are also other things to enjoy like recreational activities and fitness exercises.

Tips on Finding Your Way to a Good Arizona Golf Resort

If you’re having a travel agency arrange your vacation, be sure to study their catalogues carefully before deciding. Most travel agencies have tons of information about a certain destinations. You might as well peek into them and find out what best suits you and your family.

Since most of these agencies are offering packages, be sure to know what things are included: Check the rental fees, transportation, hotel accommodations, food, etc. Also consider the length of the vacation packages they’re offering because you don’t want your vacation to be cut short when you just love the place. If you’re going to a golf resort for pure vacation, find a package that will include optional activities.

There are also Arizona golf resorts that offer golfing lessons. If you’re just beginning to find your way into golf, you should start taking lessons at golf resorts. They offer practical lessons on an actual course. Some of these golf resorts offer free lessons while some may charge. Ask your agency about it.

If you are going on an Arizona golf resort vacation by yourself (without any travel agency help), it would be advisable to arm yourself with the right information about these resorts. The Internet or some travel guide magazines will help you in this quest to find valuable information about golf resorts in Arizona.

Walt Disney World resorts come in several categories, mostly by price. And it’s the Disney Moderate resorts that are the best value for the money. Sure, they cost a bit more than the All-Stars, but they are a world away. Let’s see why a Disney Moderate resort is a smart place to stay on your Walt Disney World vacation.

The Disney Magic - At Last

Do you like a little extra comfort when you take a vacation? A little more fantasy — a little more magic? Disney’s Moderate resorts fit the bill.

First, the Moderate resorts are smaller and less crowded than the Value resorts. The rooms tend to be a bit larger and also quieter. The themes of the Moderate resorts tend to be more elegant, as do the lobbies and common areas of the resort.

And unlike the Value resorts, the Moderate resorts have restaurants. No grabbing something at Disney’s version of fast food — you can sit down for a meal.

It all contributes a little extra to the Disney magic (which is why you are staying at a Disney resort anyway).

Which are the Disney Moderate Resorts?

So you’re intrigued and want to find out more about these wonderful resorts…but you don’t know which ones they are. Here’s a list, in alphabetic order.

* Caribbean Beach Resort: As you might guess, it is island-themed and full of watery delights.
* Coronado Springs Resort: Think colonial Spain and an elegant Mexico for this resort, with a very interesting restaurant.
* Port Orleans, French Quarter: Yes, a theme of New Orleans’ French Quarter, done up in Disney style, complete with horse-drawn carriages.
* Port Orleans, Riverside: Think of the Old South, with stately homes and lovely gardens by a river (which does run through this resort).

The words relaxation or recreation bring out the picture of resort to many. In the desert of Palm Springs, the resorts are the oasis of luxury and leisure. There are many tennis resorts, golf resorts and spa resorts. In the vibrant desert settings, these resorts provide new meaning to living. Resort staff does everything possible to guarantee comfort while you vacation at one of many fabulous resorts.

The Doral Resort in Palm Springs is four-star Palm Springs golf resort that provides facilities like shopping, fine dining and great entertainment. The Doral Resort has 285 elegant guestrooms and 23,000 square feet of conference and banquet facilities. Thus, this resort caters to businesses as well. The specialty of this resort is its 27-hole golf course and tennis and spa programs.

Desert Springs is a J W Marriott’s Resort. It has suites ranging from executive to presidential. It has an 18 whole championship golf course, tennis and spa facilities. The resort is known for its fine dining. There are organized kid’s events and desert trips for guests to enjoy. The resort staff coordinates transportation for high adventure tours and other activities assuring the highest level of customer satisfaction.

Miramonte is a special resort in Palm Spring that has 14 Tuscan style villas. It also has 215 guest rooms and suites. Miramonte provides tennis, spa and golf packages. The specialty of this resort is a 12,000 square foot luxury spa, which gives the ultimate experience by offering nineteen relaxation suites, four mud bars, two signature river benches and a Watsu pool. The activities like horseback riding, hot air ballooning, bicycling, etc. are arranged by the resort to give their customer’s a life time experience. There are many resorts in Palm Spring.

SAN FRANCISCO (NYT) — Slow typists of the world may find relief in a new Internet dictation service that promises to turn spoken words into a polished document in about an hour, 24 hours a day. Users of the service first call the company, iDictate.com, at (877) DICTATE or (800) 342-8283 and speak their message. The service, based in San Francisco, records your voice, turns it into an audio computer file and sends the file over the Internet to one of hundreds of typists based around the world, as far away as India. Once the message is transcribed, the company checks for errors and returns it to the caller via e-mail.

The service is available only in English, but the company’s founder, Lee Dorfman, said that other languages were on the way. Callers can also fax a handwritten note for typing and can have the company send a message. First-time users can try the service free for up to 100 words. After that, the service charges one cent per word, or about $3 to $4 per page of double-spaced text.

Playing with radio waves

LOS ANGELES (NYT) — At first glance, the $40 Airplay video game controller looks much like any one of many handheld game devices. But a closer look reveals a significant advance: hey, no wires. Made by Eleven Engineering, based in Canada, Airplay uses radio waves, which are more reliable than the infrared signals used by television remote controllers.

This year, the company hopes to ride an expected tidal wave of console-product sales with the introduction in October of Sony’s much- anticipated PlayStation 2 in North America. Sony is preparing to ship 2 million PlayStation 2 consoles to North America this year. John Sobota, the chief executive of Eleven Engineering, said his company’s controller, which has the familiar configuration of control keys, d- pad and thumb-controlled joysticks, is fully compatible with the new PlayStation.

The device has a range of up to 25 feet, and in a demonstration this month at the Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles its game could not be interrupted by objects or people moving between it and the game console. “Console gaming has evolved well beyond conventional controllers,” Sobota said in a company statement.

Asparagus sprouts

HADLEY, Mass. (AP) — Hadley asparagus is once again attracting a gourmet market, nearly a century after it first graced the finest tables in New York and Newport, R.I., society. Its return comes decades after the so-called “Hadley grass” was wiped out by a fungus in the 1970s. But despite the revival, out-of-town asparagus aficionados still have to scramble to get any of the prized crop. The demand is so great that most of the asparagus grown in the Connecticut River Valley is snapped up by local buyers before it reaches the wholesale market.

Its taste has people willing to pay more than $40 a crate wholesale, about 25 percent above prices at New Jersey markets. Retail prices start at $2.50 to $3 a bunch and climb.

What if Arnie were young now?

SAN ANTONIO (NYT) — Decades before a Tiger ruled the PGA Tour, a lion named Arnold was the king of golf. Imagine the possibilities if Arnold Palmer were in his prime now. What could a man with Palmer’s All-American looks, charisma and professionalism earn in today’s market where athletes pitch everything from mutual funds to Micatin? “He would have won enough to buy the PGA Tour just on his attitude alone,” said Buddy Cook, Southwestern Bell Dominion tournament director. “He and Tiger Woods are similar in their drive to excel. That’s what makes them both successful.”

If Woods is any indication, Palmer could earn twice as much as he does now as golf’s elder statesman. Woods earned $47 million last year while winning eight events and pitching products such as Nike and American Express. Palmer, 70, has not won a tournament since 1988 but he still earned $19 million last year mainly through his golf- related businesses and from pitching products such as Cooper Tire and Pennzoil.

“Arnie, if he was in his prime (today), would probably be one of the highest-paid (athletes),” said Jim Reese, a sports administration and facilities management assistant professor at Ohio University. “He is definitely going after a different target market, but he is still very marketable.”

Endorsements are just a portion of the money Palmer could have earned. Woods has accumulated $13.9 million while winning 18 events since joining the PGA Tour in July 1996. In comparison, Palmer won 60 titles and yet his total earnings on the PGA Tour amount to $1.8 million for a career that spans more than 30 years.

Just under $2 million? Woods surpassed that in his first five PGA Tour events this year.

When questioned about the possibilities, Palmer offered a warm, friendly smile that has become as familiar as his unfinished swing. “I couldn’t say I wouldn’t think about that,” Palmer said. “It’s hard to think about what might have been. If I had to do it all over again, I would accept it if it turned out the same way.”

It’s that time of year again - when you can’t pick up a newspaper without seeing pictures of celebrities lying on the beach in dubious two- pieces or negotiating Heathrow in sunglasses the size of plates.

Whether they head for sandy beaches on some exotic shore, or purple gorse in the Lake District; take the wife, the ex-wife and all the kids, or go it alone on a retreat - how the famous relax reveals more about their personalities than how they behave at the Oscars ever could. And of course, where they go this year, the rest of us will surely follow next (assuming we can afford it, that is).

This year, St Tropez is riding high on the back of the vogue for Eighties trash. Anyone with anything to sell will be on the streets of this port town. Recent sightings in the glittering playground include Lady Victoria Hervey (who recently opened a smart clothes and jewellery boutique, Akademi, in London’s Belgravia), Bono (who is campaigning to “drop the debt” of the Third World) and Bernard Arnault, head of the LVMH fashion empire, who is rumoured to be sniffing out another fashion take-over.

St Tropez is the kind of place where EC trash can flaunt their labels while feeling smugly ironic. “A lot of celebrities go to St Tropez to make sure they’re seen in the right nightclub,” says Sarah Miller, editor of Conde Nast Traveller. “But they don’t stay in the town itself for long.” Indeed, they’re more likely to move on to a villa in the Cote d’Argent on the Atlantic coast , returning to St Tropez at the weekend.

Celeb holidays aren’t all about glamour, though. This year, design duo Antoni & Alison headed for a remote part of Scotland. “We stayed in a mill on the Mull of Kintyre,” says Antoni. “We had no telephone and only had electricity occasionally. A friend came with us and the three of us were in this huge, scary, remote old mill with a big cellar. At night, it was pitch black outside. It was like Scooby Doo.” Creepy it may have been, but they got loads of useful influences for their quirky fashion label. “We came home with bags of souvenirs, like gift shop tea-towels and jars of honey with weird packaging.”

Some say that Scotland is as fashionable as Ireland was five years ago, and Ullapool, in the Highlands, is the current favourite. The owners of Scottish historic castles, lodges and five-star hotels have caught on to this trend and formed a group called Connoisseurs Scotland, pushing holidays to the ultra-ABC1s. And then there’s the celeb appeal of Turnberry Hotel in Ayrshire, a five-star hotel with two golf courses that rival anything the US has to offer, as well as a state-of-the-art spa. Catherine Zeta Jones, Michael Douglas, Sean Connery and Celine Dion have all signed in.

Further afield, Kate Moss will be globe-trotting to Brazil later this year, along with Matthew Williamson, the designer, fashion guru Isabella Blow, and too-hot-to-touch fashion photographer Mario Testino. Not surprising really: it is now more hip than the Queen Mother’s pelvis. Sao Paulo, the economic hub of Brazil, is said to rival Paris and Milan as the new “fashion capital”, and has a New York edge with the best clubbing scene on the continent. “South America is very fashionable now because countries like Peru and Brazil are a lot more politically stable,” says Sarah Miller.

But other jet-setters prefer a more spiritual form of exertion. For example, designer Emma Bernhardt, supermodel Normandie Keith and Baroness Smith of Gilmorehill - widow of the late John Smith - are all joining guru-of- the-moment Dr Mosaraf Ali on a Himalayan trek. His Integrated Medical Centre in London’s New Cavendish Street practises Ayurveda, an ancient Indian medicine, on stressed-out celebs such as Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.

If you fancy a bit of five-star celeb-like luxury, then look no further than travel agencies like Western & Oriental and Abercrombie & Kent. Both deal in top-of-the-range holidays in India and the Caribbean. Rosewood Hotels & Resorts, meanwhile, provides luxury accommodation around the world - including “hot” destinations such as the Middle East, Panama, Indonesia and Mauritius - that make The Ritz look like a youth hostel.

It was only a matter of time before A-list travel hit the internet, and so Bruce Palling, ex-travel editor of Tatler and former managing director of Western & Oriental, has set up GrandTrunk.com, a website travel agency designed with the rich and famous in mind. It is due to launch in September and promises to offer some of the most exclusive luxury accommodation in the world. “GrandTrunk.com is targeting the equivalent of the platinum credit card,” explains Palling. “We’re targeting only 250 people in the world and will only carry 70 hotels to start with. These are the ultimate exclusive holidays.”

Some places will remain classic holiday spots. Mauritius is hauling in more celebrities than ever, mainly because of all the new hotels on the island. Sharon Stone and Geri Halliwell have both checked in to the recently refurbished Le Saint Geran hotel, while the Palmer-Tomkinson sisters, Tara and Santa, took a holiday there earlier this year.

Q. I have just booked a two-week holiday to Penang with my wife and two sons aged 12 and 14. We’ve never travelled outside Europe before and are keen to get the most out of the trip. We don’t just want a tropical beach holiday - we want to get a grasp on the history and culture of the island if possible. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Robin Bennett, York

A.You’ll find plenty to keep you occupied in Penang. Until the arrival of the British with The East India Company in 1771 the island was no more than a series of fishing villages ruled by the Sultan of Kedah. The Brits rather pompously renamed it Prince of Wales Island. Although it was always known as Pulau Pinang (meaning “Betel Nut Island”), the name did not officially change back until Malaysian Independence in 1959.

Today the capital, Georgetown (named after George III), is a bustling, multicultural centre that’s a paradox of past colonialism and the present fervour for economic development. The British have very much left their architectural footprint here. The dishevelled Fort Cornwallis in the northeast is a reminder of colonial struggles.

The greatest monument to colonial days must be the Eastern & Oriental Hotel (00 60 4 222 2000; www.e-o-hotel.com), which recently reopened after renovation. This was a retreat of tiffin and G&Ts, where the likes of Somerset Maugham escaped the tropical sun, and your sons will probably enjoy afternoon tea in the Conservatory.

However, it is the myriad of cultures which coexist that makes Georgetown enchanting among the apparent chaos of tooting horns. Chinatown is full of beautifully crumbling Chinese shophouses. The Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion, on Lebuh Leith, has been refurbished to a striking example of 19th-century Chinese architecture. The exterior walls are painted a vivid blue, and the inside is like an Orientalist’s dream dollhouse - or a film set, which it is frequently used for.

Penang is celebrated for its food, and the boys are bound to appreciate the open-air food stalls at Gurney Drive. An unusual cuisine you may all enjoy is called Nonya - once the term for a Chinese woman who dressed like a Malayan, yet retained her own customs. Today Nonya is used to describe the fusion of the two cultures, and encompasses everything from clothes and cuisine to art and architecture.

As elsewhere in South-east Asia, shopping is an important element of any holiday. For antiques head to Jalan Penang. The newly renovated Garage, across the road from the Eastern & Oriental Hotel, is an air-conditioned craft centre. If its electronics and gadgets you’re after, the KOMTAR Tower, a modern shopping centre, dominating Georgetown is the place - though don’t expect prices as keen as those in Singapore or Hong Kong.

To escape the heat of town, and to have a fun afternoon out, it is worth taking a trip up Penang Hill on the funicular railway. Not only is it much cooler at the top but it also gives a panoramic view of the island and across to Butterworth on the mainland. On the way down you can walk through the Botanical Gardens and maybe join in a free tai chi lesson.

Penang is also packed with temples of every kind. If you feel like getting out and about, the best way to see them - and explore more of the island - is to hire a car. Wat Chayamangkalaram is a Thai temple on Lorong Burma. A couple of fierce and garish demon statues guard the 33-metre reclining Buddha that lies inside. The interior houses the ashes of many ancestors - plus a selection of automated fortune telling machines. If you carry on west you will come to the Hindu Temple of Nattukkottai Chettiar where the annual Thaipusam festival takes place. Take the road south on this clockwise route from Georgetown and towards Gertak Sanggul to the Snake Temple, where reptiles have been seeking refuge for over 100 years. A detour east will take you to Batu Maung a little-known site that has a 33-inch footprint in rock said to be made by the monkey god Hanuman as he stepped across the ocean.

To continue in a clockwise direction, backtrack to Bayan Lepas and take the road to Teluk Bahang and the Titi Kerawang Waterfall, which is really more of a trickle; the Butterfly Farm however is well worth a visit. A huge netted area containing a steamy landscaped garden, once inside it takes a while to focus on the psychedelic butterflies surrounding you.

Another tip, although you don’t say where you are staying, on the road from the big beach resorts of Batu Ferringhi around the hills to Georgetown, you will pass a small cove called Moonlight Bay. This is one of the best places to swim on the island.

Q.We’re planning a trip to Australia next Easter. Because we don’t want to impinge on the schooling of our twin daughters (Beth and Susie, aged 8), we’re not going to stop over on the way to Sydney and back. But which of the possible transit airports is going to be best to stretch our legs at the refuelling stop?

Alison Rodgers, by e-mail

A.You’re timing your trip well - fares to Australia are at their lowest between April and June, and Easter in Sydney can be beautiful - warm but autumnal, with fewer tourists than usual. Expect to pay as little as pounds 500 per adult and pounds 375 for each of the girls. The cheapest fares are likely to be on Malaysia Airlines via Kuala Lumpur. This smart new airport isn’t the most fascinating in Asia, but it’s well organised and has a few diversions, such as an internet area.

I’m up-country in what used to be called Ceylon, standing on a tea- garden hill in Nuwara Eliya, listening to pukka chat from elderly British, Home Counties tourists. Colonial embellishments surround them: mock-Tudor buildings, square green lawns. It’s the British standardisation of paradise, with Wimpey-like bungalow homes wrapped with corrugated iron like armour against the elements, standing frigidly in an irrepressible tropical landscape. It’s the last thing I want to see in Sri Lanka.

If I sound severe, it’s because I’m supposed to be in Serendip, the name given to this island when the ancient Greeks discovered her. It means, literally, “beauty discovered by chance”. The tourist board, leaving nothing to chance, has got me here, keen to show off “little England” as well as (let me list them) the white beaches of the west coast and the urban nightlife in Colombo. Beauty should not be so prescriptive.

I’ll admit immediately: it is beautiful. Diversely lovely. Compared with the debris in neighbouring India, a nice nugget of tourist fodder. There is less dust, few holy cows and hardly any beggars. There is a 92 per cent literacy rate and no sprawling urbanisation. Volvos, Lancias and the occasional Porsche flash along the well-maintained roads, upon which the jungle seems ever encroaching.

I’ve seen the sheen on new Colombo and I quite understand why the Sri Lankans want it compared with shiny-dollared Singapore or Malaysia rather than Pakistan. I know the Germans, size 14 and upwards, have been soaking up the sun on Sri Lanka’s beaches for years. I know that it has every aesthetic and social right to claim to be the new Asian Majorca.

But. But this is a beautiful country whose own expectations seem to be stifling its spontaneous heart. Sri Lanka, you don’t need to try so hard.

Tellingly, there are few budget travellers or hippie trails. With true backpacker radar, word has spread that paradise has sold out and, anyway, budget accommodation is now hard to find. I don’t want to get so ethical about travel, but it’s a give-and-take world in developing tourism, and right now, I could do with a backpacker flirt in the jungle and a spliff to take the edge off. A local guide has already tried to stop me buying peanuts from a street vendor (”No, not like that, buy them wrapped like your Waitrose”) or photographing the sun-creased skins of tea-pickers (”No photo-stop, further down fresh young women”).

I flew 12 hours to get here with a head full of poetic, cinematic images. This is where David Lean filmed Bridge on the River Kwai. So, here’s the deal, Sri Lanka. Provoke my imagination; give me some drama and romance beyond the package, some beauty and madness inspired by tropical landscapes. Put some of the dirt back into paradise.

Let’s begin again, in the jungle. Sri Lanka’s great attraction is that it’s roughly the size of Ireland: a manageable morsel. Bored with temples? Head for a beach. Sick of spice gardens? Visit an elephant orphanage. I chose three destinations encompassing sex, religion and a combination of the two - a jungle Trinity.

I go north through the jungle to fifth-century Sigiriya, an ancient palace perched on a huge rock jutting out of the rainforest, built by a megalomaniacal king called Kassapa. It’s best known for its cave frescoes on a ledge 300ft up, the court harem wearing little more than enigmatic smiles, like Asian Mona Lisas. Discovered by the British in 1853, it is the backdrop for a brilliant photograph of the archaeological commissioner, H C P Bell, scaling the rock in 1853, suspended in a chair attached to a long rope and gazing at the frescoes. An academic in the face of porn.

The great rock arches above me. Weary package tourists tramp through on the approach to unending steps that will take them all the way to the citadel plateau or to the cave in the sky. I’m seeing it in the rain, a great warm sea of water running down the steps over my sandalled feet, the smell of wet jungle reminding me that whatever the weather, the frescoes have always been here, hidden or forgotten.

They look like Hindu goddesses, thick-hipped, with swollen breasts. They stand in couples, the courtesan and her maidservant, coloured orange with huge oval eyes, bedecked in frangipani, holding lotus blossom. One casually tweaks her nipple at me. I don’t translate well in my wet linen and clumping Birkenstocks, and on a ledge this high with a view dropping down into the jungle, I experience the best response Sri Lanka can evoke: disorientation.

So there was sex in paradise. And there were moonstones, too, uniquely Sri Lankan, to counteract the desires, a stone crescent moon chiselled with different animals to represent the Buddhist perils of birth, desire, age and death. The moonstones are everywhere in the 12th-century monastic ruins of Polonnaruwa, east of the orange maidens. They are rather like welcome doormats, hiding from you down jungle paths, until at the last moment you find yourself wiping your feet on them. At the Gal Vihara, three Buddhas transfix you. The most remarkable is a recumbent 50ft rock figure, flat out on the grass, head on a pillow, as if he has just lain down for a nap. He’s entering nirvana.

The Seychelles isn’t just for honeymooners. There’s plenty to do apart from lounging on some of the most gorgeous beaches in the world. In fact, I had to book a wake-up call at 7am each day to fit it all in. OK, I was on the islands for only five days, but had I been there for two weeks, I swear I’d have found more than enough to do.

So, where are we going first?

Well, I had hoped Mahe. But my flight was delayed so I had no time to explore the biggest and busiest of the islands. Instead, we’ll have to start our tour on Praslin, the second largest. This is where most tourists head for, and the majority won’t see much beyond their resort. Who can blame them? My hotel bordered one of the Seychelles’ most prized beaches, Anse Georgette, voted second best beach in the world. But I was determined to be different and went for a walk.

Wait. Only a fool would miss the Vallee de Mai. This prehistoric forest of palms lies at the heart of the island’s national park and dates from the time when the Seychelles, Africa, Madagascar and India were one land mass. Some of its plants are unique, such as the Coco de Mer.

The Coco de what?

The Coco de Mer: a huge nut resembling a woman’s pelvis and vagina. (The male tree, obligingly, grows a penis-shaped fruit.)

Behave yourself. Let’s get walking

Don’t get too excited. Even the walks are pretty chilled out here. The longest route round the Vallee de Mai takes only two hours and it’s pretty easy going, apart from a short climb to take in the wonderful views across the forest to the sea beyond.

I’m hot. Let’s get down to the sea

All right. No time to loiter; the next day I was up with the bulbul to catch a boat. First stop St Pierre, a cartoon desert island consisting of a bunch of rocks and a few palms, and a perfect location for snorkelling.

At last, you got in the water

Eventually. “Who takes size 38-40?” asked our captain, Robbie, a bag of flippers in his hand. The idea of jumping off a boat into unknown depths filled me with dread. I flip-flopped about until everyone had gone overboard. But Robbie had obviously come across cowards before. And so I got into the sea. I rolled on to my back and just stared at the clouds. It felt quite thrilling. I pushed all thoughts of sharks from my mind and returned to the boat for a mask. I had just enough time to swim to the rocks and to regret not having taken the plunge earlier.

Er, the beach?

Next stop, Curieuse. Once a leper colony, later a coconut plantation, the island is now uninhabited except for the wildlife rangers who care for animals and plants that live here. The rangers also have the job of taking hapless tourists around the island’s murky mangrove swamp.

After a quick march past pens of young tortoises, we were off into the bush for a gentle walk up a hill. Finally, we reached our destination, the old leper doctor’s house with its crude but ingenious interactive museum, and a barbecue lunch.

This isn’t the beach. This is another walk

Refreshed, we set off in the heat for the bird sanctuary island, Cousin, a home to more 250,000 seabirds. By the time we arrived we were seriously ready for a dip, but we had an hour of bird-spotting ahead of us.

And so to the beach?

Almost. But first a quick whirl around the neighbouring island of La Digue. The guide books will tell you there’s no motor transport. Of course, this isn’t true, but the roads are clear and bikes are cheap to hire.

La Digue is a favourite day trip for tourists who come in search of paradise as seen on the Bounty adverts. Instead, I cycled through shady groves to Grand Anse, a vast, stunning beach. But the rains came so I gave myself a break with a long lunch before returning to the beach.