May 28th, 2008
Learning To Be A Responsible Person
We hear that children aren’t as responsible as they should be for their ages, be it 8 or 18. And yet I’ve noticed that what adults require of a young person-such as don’t interrupt, talk in a kind voice, don’t speak while others’ are-they go right ahead and do themselves. How many times have you heard noisy whispering during an adult meeting? Watch the McLaughlin Report for examples of interrupting adults. And do many adults talk in a kind voice when they don’t get their way?
A rule in our home (or the universe) has always been that the older one teaches the younger. There’s always someone younger or older than you. Therefore, every person beyond the toddler years is responsible for teaching and learning.
1. Be aware that you are both a teacher and a learner. That takes a talent right there. You are both listening and training. Dual tasks.
2. Live truth. Know and live by your principles. Do you believe in honesty? Then be honest and show it in your actions to all who pass through your life. Do you believe taking life at your own pace? Then prove it and live your life and work at your speed and in order of relevance. If you’re a speedy person, don’t expect others to be.
3. Patience. Not all people, especially children, go about life in the same rhythm. Don’t demand. Wait for responsible action to your request. If it doesn’t come within a reasonable amount of time, then inform the person again politely.
4. Politeness. Treat people the way you would like to be treated. This is a rephrasing of the old Good Samaritan story: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That parable speaks such truth that one wonders why people haven’t put it into use more often or that it hasn’t become our universal mantra by now. You do not like someone to shout orders at you or if you make a mistake. But do you shout at others when they do something incorrectly? Do you order them about as if they mean nothing to you?
5. Ask yourself if you’re highly dependent upon another person psychologically. What? Yes, do you act as you do out of repetitious behavior, without thought to the person and her/his feelings? Often we grow up, and in younger adulthood we live daily life the way we watched others’ do things. Watching the teachers of our lives. This will always be a circular cycle for your behavior and responsibility.
Then it’s time to see if you want to live in a particular way. Or is it only a trained way? Did your mother always pay bills in person? Do you pay your bills via your check book or online? That’s a simple one. Do you treat people or areas prejudicially in areas your parents or teachers (of any kind) did? Did you disapprove of their ways but now mimic their ways? What can you do to improve your beliefs in that area? Such as your parents only went to male dentists. Would you use the services of a female dentist if one came your way? Would you live in friendship with your new neighbor if he were from China or Guatemala?
6. What are your areas of growth as a person? What did you learn today from observing those about you? We never fully grow up. When I was a young teenager, I asked my sister at what age would I be mature. How many people go through life as though they know it all, that there is nothing new to learn?
There is the full circle. Think on what you need to learn, where you need to grow, and what you have to teach. We’re all in this life together.
©2008 Carol Hegberg. In twenty years, the medical community has come a long way to acknowledging and understanding MVPS/D. Carol Hegberg has been a MVPS/D pioneer during those twenty years with over 30 symptoms. More sufferers continue to contact her to talk, to find another fellow patient, and to learn what they can do to live a normal life again.